October 26, 2009
That’s a great question.
It’s 1:30 a.m.
See, I have an extremely difficult time going to bed before 2 a.m. Why? I don’t know. I think I’m scared I’m going to miss something if I’m sleeping. But, really, what goes on at this time of night? Nothing. At least I haven’t noticed anything.
I need hobbies. Any ideas?
October 23, 2009
It’s simply a revisit born out of boredom and an overindulgence in blue raspberry juice which I bought in supplement to my quite regular tropical fruit punch. It is blue. And it is delicious.
I imagine that if I was a girl I would use my good looks and charms to get ahead in life. But how can I just assume that if I was of the female persuasion that I would have good looks and charm? What if I was actually devoid of those two things? What if I looked like a lobster.
Or what if I was so shockingly hideous that as I walked by people said things like “Forget falling out of the ugly tree, that girl grew up in the ugly forest where she was beat daily with the ugly stick before getting hit by an ugly truck and then abandoned in front of the ugly reconstructive plastic surgery clinic where they made her 10 times as ugly before she escaped to our fair city.”
Well, I don’t think anyone would say that. But they might think it.
Regardless, I’m not a girl. And I’m not even that bad looking. I don’t think.
What have I been doing with myself? I don’t really recall. I think it was all the sugar that caused me to lose my memory. But it must have been crazy because our house is a mess, it smells of salmon, and I’ve seem to have earned holes in most of my socks. How could it not have been an adventure?
I was going to buy a fish. But someone talked me out of it. I imagine that if I had a fish right now my life would be so much more exciting. Not to say that my life isn’t exciting, it is, but just that it would be so much more exciting if I had a fish. I’m not mad at you, fish hater, I was just thinking about fish. No big.
We had some raccoons in the yard the other night. They got into the garbage. They wouldn’t eat the apple I was giving them though. They’re picky. Picky raccoons. Yeah, I saw them. They were as big as cats. Like a medium sized cat. Maybe a big sized cat. It depends on the cat. I guess it depends on the raccoon too.
I’m not going to write everyday and you are going to be OK with that.
October 15, 2009
Hello. Hello? HELLO, IS ANYONE STILL THERE? Isn’t it funny how writing in caps suggests yelling? I wasn’t yelling when I wrote that. In fact, I wasn’t yelling at all! But I’m sure you get the picture. This blog seems sort of cavernous and empty lately, since our good friend Darin has finally been overtaken and devoured by the monster we call “life.” I’ve seen him recently, and I can tell you that he is doing well. But between showing the world how to be awesome, doing the dishes (awesomely) and pretty much running the college, he’s been pretty busy. So I thought I’d pop on here and give you, his devoted fans, something to read. Hope this takes some of the pressure off.
Let me begin by pointing out an interesting fact about BC Ferries. They have a ferry that runs from Tswassen to Duke Point (Nanaimo). This seems normal enough, except that it doesn’t run on Saturdays! Now, that wouldn’t bother me so much if Tara and I hadn’t raced to catch the 8:15 ferry ON SATURDAY! And let me tell you, with Thanksgiving weekend in full swing, it was well nigh impossible to find parking. But we eventually found some tiny space to park and hopped on the 9:00 ferry to Victoria. There my brother and his girlfriend picked us up, and we continued on our merry little Thanksgiving weekend adventure. That adventure involved going up to my Aunt and Uncle’s in Campbell River. We got up there on Sunday to find that my other brother Mark and my parents had caught about 9 salmon between the three of them. Impressive! You should know that Tara (my wife) hates fish, to the point where she finds them repulsive and somewhat terrifying. She did not enjoy the sight of bloody fish. I, however, enjoyed the sight very much. And I enjoyed eating the fish on Monday afternoon. Other than that we did some hiking, ate some turkey, played some euchre, and generally hung around. Sometimes my family reminds me of the family from Dan in Real Life. We do all these fun, cheesy, crazy, wholesome activities together.
But enough about me friends, how are you? Are you sad and lonesome without daily digital content to read? I know someone who is:
Yeah, he’ll get over it. Well, that’s about all I have for today folks. I think once in a while I’ll roll up my sleeves and try to contribute my two cents’ worth. Darin deserves at least that much. He carries a terrible burden in being so awesome. I do not envy him that.
Let’s close with some video fun. I can’t decide whether to go with funny or musical. Perhaps one of each?
This particular clip made me and my friends laugh for 3 years of high school. Seriously, we would re-enact this every gym class involving football. We would invent wild scenarios where one of us was president, and there was a crazy football-to-groin assassin on the loose, and the body guard would have to dive in front of the president at the last minute and take a football in the crotch. That seriously actually happened. All because of this clip.
And now some music, because it makes us all happy. I wanted to save this one for my blog, but you’re good people here. This is Elton John in his younger and much better days, singing my favourite EJ song of all time.
October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5th, 2009.
October: Times dishes done? 5. Times Darin has done the dishes? 2. Percentage of total dishes done by Darin: 40% Looks like my stats are dropping. Gotta pick up my game!
Let’s start with this: I played hockey again tonight. I only got one shot on goal. But it went in so that’s awesome. I basically means that I had a 100% game. One shot, One goal. Just like military snipers.
I have been reading so much. I feel like a wealth of information on modern psychopathologies. Seriously, I’ll diagnose you better than House would.
I don’t understand that guy. He would not be my doctor. I think every time I’ve seen that show he diagnosis people wrong for 80% of the episode before magically curing them with loving advice or hugs.
I’ve already diagnosed myself with Borderline Personality Disorder, Bi-Polar Disorder, and Attention Defici
KITTENS!!
It’s a cat wearing a chef’s hat flipping chicken on the bbq. FIND ME SOMETHING CUTER!! I Dare You.
My brother Greg showed me videos and pictures of his amazing repelling adventure. I was significantly jealous. That was until I remembered all the awesome things I get to do: Dishes, classes, writing blogs, reading books, taking out the garbage, listening to Shawn and Luke whine about EVERYTHING, watch other people play video games, bring in the garbage cans, swat at flies, and poop.
I guess that last one is pretty awesome.
I’ve kind of been considering cutting this bad boy down to three times a week. I mean, it has a lot of benefits. First of all, I get more stories to tell. Secondly, you’ll probably get better stories from me. Thirdly, KITTENS!
October 5, 2009
Sunday, October 4th, 2009.
No dishes were done today. In honour of this, there will only be cute animal pictures.
Ok, I am not going to tell you that Luke and Naomi lit their garlic bread on fire in the oven. Or that Shawn missed where he was throwing his keys and instead hit Ashley in the face. I won’t tell you those things.
I will tell you that I longboarded to church and back. That was both time consuming and sweat inducing.
And then my fortune cookie pretty much told me I was gay. “Your flamboyant personality will lead you into a new hobby”. Flamboyant? I don’t think so. I’m not flamboyant.
wait.
let’s break down this word.
Flam. Or, from the Greek, Flame.
Boyant. Or, from the French, Buoyant. Meaning to float.
Flames that float? Now that sounds pretty awesome.
I guess my personality is comparable to fire that floats on water. Now what kind of hobby could that lead me into?
Maybe with my floating fire I could work for Greenpeace using it to stop whaling ships or oil tankers.
Or perhaps I could work for the oil companies using my water flames to fix their oil spills. Or something.
Regardless, I like to think of my personality as flame-buoyant.
October 4, 2009
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009.
October: Times dishes done? 3. Times Darin has done the dishes? 2. Percentage of total dishes done by Darin: 66%
Shawn did the dishes today. Good work Shawn. I’m not even angry that I don’t have 100% anymore.
Yo Dogs. Today I didn’t step outside until after 8 PM. Why? Because I was dedicating my self to reading. Text books. Abnormal Psychology text books. And I’m still only about 25% done. EFF.
But when I did step out this evening, it was for something rather glorious. And by glorious I mean totally lame and geeky. Star Wars Episode Two. You’ll be surprised to know that I was most definitely not the geekiest person there. Oh no, there were much more nerdy people there than I. In honour of the great Star Wars, lets look at some Star Losers:
Star Wars wedding? Yep, I feel bad for your children.
Interestingly enough, it’s much easier to find geeky pictures of Star Trek fans than it is to find geeky Star Wars fans. Weird.
I like children. I do. They’re little bundles of joy and all that crap. But every once in a while a kid comes along that just makes me want to punch it in it’s little face and tell it that it’s adopted. This is one of those kids:
Seriously. I think I might hate this kid. He’s just too good. He’s like those other kids that would go to the swimming pool and do flips and stuff off of the diving board and I couldn’t do anything because I’m just a little guy who can’t do anything like that.
Great, now I need something to cheer me up.
Yep, all better now.
October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2nd, 2009.
October: Times dishes done? 2. Times Darin has done the dishes? 2. Percentage of total dishes done by Darin: 100%
Today I finally got my student loan money. Which means that I actually have dollars. Sort of. There is still the gay hold on my account so I cannot actually do anything with that money. Awesome.
The rest of the day was spent listening to the brand new Brand New album. It’s decent. I’ve only given it two listen throughs so I can’t fully judge how awesome it is. The true test of it will come during the next late night walk where I will give it a straight end to end listen. Who knows when that’ll happen. Maybe tonight, maybe not.
Shawn and I made a stop at Wal*Mart when we were running around town. I grabbed a free newspaper so I could check out the classifieds for any sweet deals. Also so that we would have something to start fires with in our fireplace. Free fire starter? Awesome.
You know what else is awesome? Sleeping. And you know what else is awesome? Surprises. You know what else is awesome? Puppies.
How could we combine these things into one amazingly awesome thing? Oh yeah, Narcoleptic Dogs!!
AWESOME!
I’m glad I’m not narcoleptic.
Wanna see some of the craziest animals on the planet?! Of course you do!
This is a seapig:
This is the Goblin Shark and it scares the crap out of me.
This is the Dumbo Octopus and it is adorable:
There you go. You saw some animals. We’re all a whole lot happier now!
October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1st, 2009.
We can rebuild him. We have the technology.
I washed the dishes today. It took me like 45 minutes. I feel like I wash the dishes more often than I eat. But that’s not tough to do as I don’t eat too much.
Regardless, I wash a lot of dishes. I kinda like to think that I’m pretty good at it too. But I feel like I’m the only person around that does them. Yes, Shawn occasionally does them. Yes, Luke occasionally does them. But I always freaking do them. I’m going to try to keep a tab of how often the dishes get done and what percentage of those are done by me:
October: Times dishes done? 1. Times Darin has done the dishes? 1. Percentage of total dishes done by Darin: 100%
I dunno why, but this picture is weird.
Today, Luke and I accidentally slept through our first class. No big, means I got to go back to sleep and relax a bit before going to my second class.
However, upon my arrival at the school, I was informed that my second class was canceled due to Laryngitis of the Professor. So I kinda wandered around a bit before chilling with Kaela. She was reading and so I read through some stuff too.
Speaking of reading, holy crap do I have a bunch of stuff to read. I have trouble reading, it’s not that I can’t read, I just suck at focusing. But I did like 40 pages. I don’t know if that’s a lot though. Is reading 40 pages a lot? I dunno.
I also have some assignments coming up rather quickly.
I also think ant-eaters may be the coolest animal on the planet that eats ants.
Unless raccoons eat ants. Which they don’t.
So. Yes, in my highly respected and sought after opinion, ant-eaters are the coolest animal on the planet that eats ants.
The giant anteater can get to be 6 feet long. Which doesn’t seem that big until you realize that it’s freaking six foot anteater! That’s incredible!
Get this, Anteaters are closely related to sloths. Sloths. They’re cousins. They hang out at family reunions. Picking up chicks.
And anteaters pretty much exclusively live in South America. But some, like the silky anteater, live in Central America.
Why do I care about anteaters? Let me show you:
October 1, 2009
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009.
So here’s the deal. I got 181 views yesterday. 144 of those were for day 52 where I mentioned Limp Bikit’s front man Fred Durst. A bunch more were from some other random days. Only about a dozen were from the actual one that I wrote. That is discouraging.
I think I’m losing my touch. That’s kind of disappointing. But I dunno. I think I’ll keep going for a bit and see what happens. I took of the Fred Durst tag from day 52 which will give me more realistic, and deflated, hits.
Anyways, I played hockey tonight and even scored a goal. It was awesome. It means that every game that I’ve played forward (2) I’ve scored a goal (2). Therefore, as a forward, I have 100% goals per game. Ergo, I’m Awesome. There’s no denying it.
On Tuesday I did something awesome. I pierced Amy’s ears. It was cool. More difficult than I expected, but we weren’t using the sharpest needle ever. The first one bled a lot. But the second one, when I put the actual earring through, made a popping noise. SO COOL. And they’re even straight!
Like me! Get it? Straight. I’m strai… oh forget it.
tough crowd. tough crowd.
September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009.
Fred Durst is divorcing his wife. They have been married for like 2 and a half months. Way to go Fred.
